Laid and Confused: Why We Tolerate Bad Sex and How to Stop (Hardcover)

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A refreshingly honest, deeply researched, and frequently hilarious deep-dive into the cultural crisis of bad sex, as one brave sex columnist recruits the counsel of coaches, psychologists, pro-dommes, and peers in the pursuit of pleasure.

Far more alarming than the millennial “sex recession"—the phenomenon of young people having less sex than previous generations—is that we’re in the middle of a bad sex epidemic that all generations are suffering from. Despite major advances in sex education, positivity, and technology, we haven’t moved the needle on better. We’re still quietly enduring unsatisfying sex, whether that’s resigning ourselves to the same three positions we secretly hate, or lying when our Bumble date asks if we’re “close” after fifteen seconds of oral. We’ve been trained to optimize everything, except our own pleasure.

For journalist Maria Yagoda, bad sex was her villain origin story. After going viral for a column calling out bad sex on her college campus, she launched a career as a sex columnist, earning a global following for her wit, vulnerability, and expertise in her popular VICE series, Sex Machina. But even as a professional sex writer, most of the sex she was having landed somewhere between passable and “huh.” In search of understanding, she consulted sex therapists, psychologists, dominatrixes and sex toy creators, as well as young people of all genders and sexualities, putting her own sex life on the line—from hiring a sex coach to attending a “masturbation meditation” Zoom seminar—in order to pave a new path forward.

In the vein of Come as You Are for the Trick Mirror audience, Laid and Confused presents a fresh, funny, and compassionate analysis of our current sexual moment, and offers research-based tools that will empower readers to craft the deeply pleasurable sex lives they deserve.

About the Author

Maria Yagoda (she/they) was born and raised in Pennsylvania. After graduating from Yale, she moved to Brooklyn, with brief stints in Naples, Italy, and Split, Croatia. Before becoming a full-time writer, she worked as a sandwich maker at a café in Williamsburg, among various other odd-jobs. She went on to work at People Magazine and launch a sex column, Sex Machina, at Vice. She is now a senior editor at Food & Wine Magazine. She lives in East Williamsburg with her traumatized Chihuahua mix, Bucatina, and her Nintendo Switch. She suffers from depression and enjoys yoga, Succession, and Vietnamese food.

Praise For…

“I ended up electrified, reading this book like it was a surprise-drop Bible sequel…Buy two copies of this book: one for yourself and one for your best friend.” –Glamour, “The 15 Best Non-Fiction Books of 2023”

“Why do we put up with sex lives that are anything but satisfying? Yagoda investigates with equal parts wit and empathy—and a strong dose of encouragement.” –People Magazine, “Best Books of Summer 2023”

“Goofy, inclusive, and cheekily affirming, Laid and Confused digs into sexuality and pleasure with all the charm that made author Maria Yagoda’s Sex Machina column at VICE so beloved.” --Autostraddle

“Yagoda’s message is empowering, and her honesty will quickly win readers’ trust. Those seeking a more fulfilling sex life will find this entry affirming.” –Publishers Weekly

"A warm, honest, and insightful look at today's bad sex crisis: how we got here and how to make it out alive, one mindful masturbation session at a time. Required reading for Generation X to Z, and everyone in between." --Alyssa Shelasky, editor of NYMag's "Sex Diaries" and author of This Might Be Too Personal

"An extraordinarily informative, inclusive, and entertaining book...Complete with both poignancy and humor, I found myself both nodding along and laughing out loud as I read this masterpiece. This book will spur you to think about why we tolerate bad sex—and importantly, to embrace pleasure as a fundamental human right.” –Laurie Mintz, licensed psychologist, certified sex-therapist and author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters—And How To Get It

“Maria Yagoda started writing about sex when she was at Yale and ten years later is still at it. In Laid and Confused: Why We Tolerate Bad Sex and How to Stop, Maria admits that after all that she's learned there's still more to find out and uses her own experiences to illuminate the path away from bad sex for her readers.” Dr. Ruth K Westheimer

“Each paragraph felt so familiar it was almost eerie. Funny, personal, and insightful in equal measure. Half talking to your best friend and half like hearing the things you can't even talk to your best friend about. I wish I could force everyone I know to read this book!” --Sophia Benoit, author of Well, This is Exhausting

“Maria Yagoda's witty, moving writing is a breath of fresh air in the frankly unsexy age we find ourselves in at the moment...a timely, funny, and deeply personal guide to getting what you want out of your sex life.” JP Brammer, author of ¡Hola Papi!: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons

“LAID AND CONFUSED confirms Maria Yagoda as one of the wisest, wittiest, and warmest writers about sexuality around. Spending time with Yagoda’s versatile voice is like having a conversation with your favorite friend, the one who can chat feminism, Foucault, kink, and the Bachelor with ease. You may even leave these pages better equipped to live your best (sex) life.” Sanjena Sathian, author of Gold Diggers

Product Details
ISBN: 9781250277732
ISBN-10: 1250277736
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Publication Date: May 30th, 2023
Pages: 256
Language: English


Situated on the main street of the historic Delaware Riverfront town of New Hope, Pennsylvania, Farley’s Bookshop and its knowledgeable, experienced staff have endeavored to satisfy the literary tastes of the area inhabitants for over fifty years. Whether you are Bucks County born-and-bred or just stopping by to enjoy the crisp river air and delightful scenery, you will be pleasantly surprised to find the largest and most diverse collection of books-in-print in Bucks County. Farley’s may have competition, but it has few peers. We encourage you to browse our website, but please remember that getting acquainted with our online persona is no substitute for exploring the narrow passageways and teeming shelves of our storefront and discovering that perfect book nestled amongst so many others.

New Hope for American Art

                                               New Hope for American Art is the most comprehensive book ever published on artists from, and surrounding, the New Hope Art Colony (also known as the Pennsylvania Impressionists). This book, with its 612 pages and over 1,000 color plates of artwork include biographies of 165 individual Pennsylvania Impressionists and New Hope Modernists as well as artists from the Philadelphia Ten, a pioneering group of women all educated at Philadelphia art schools. 

In this book, you'll find biographies and artwork from such artists as:

  • Daniel Garber
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  • Morgan Colt
  • Charles Rosen
  • Joseph Meierhans
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New Hope for American Art was authored, designed and published by James M. Alterman, an expert in the field of Pennsylvania Impressionist and Modernist painting. A longtime collector and owner of two fine art galleries, Alterman wanted to create a user-friendly book intended not only to educate collectors and enthusiasts about this art but to help train one's eye. The book offers valuable tips on how to avoid common mistakes often experienced by new collectors drawn from the author's personal experiences as a collector and fine art dealer.